Sorry for the delay in updating the blog but I've been super busy prepping Breaking Up With Brooklyn's new abode on its very own domain of which I am now the proud owner.
Seeing as I am brand spanking new to the world of WordPress and its innumerable functions, the content is not completely moved over just yet but pretty soon this blog will be re-directed to a much cooler space. As a result of this transfer, I will be editing some of the current content to downplay some of the more questionable admissions. The last thing I want is for people to be hurt by way of my words - and the truth is that although I change all names for the purposes of anonymity, there are many many identifying features that can easily be pointed back to my real identity should somebody I know stumble upon these stories. I'm not so much concerned with folks learning about my exploits as I am them learning secrets of my loved ones, current or past, without their consent. That said, get your last fixins of smut in while you still can - cause the filters are coming soon.
I'm pretty proud of myself with the shift over to WordPress. I've been playing with various themes and editing them to make them a bit more to my liking. In only a week or so I've picked up a lot of the basics with respect to editing the php files and the likes. Through the help of a great friend who is a master-of-all-things-wordpress (and then some), I'm starting to get a feel for the user interface, too. Blogger is cool and all, but the functionality is super-limited and if I'm going to take this Breaking Up With Brooklyn idea any further than where it is now I need to step into the current-times and rock out with my .. fucking filters!
Aside from all the computery stuff I'm trying to make work for me right now, I finally received the test results for my entrance exam to the Radiology program I tested for weeks ago. I PASSED!! Had I not already decided, through various research and just a general gut instinct, that RN is actually the route I'm going to take, the next steps in my admission process to the Radiology program would've been an observation and then general admission board interview. I have no doubt that I'd have done wonderfully in both. The entrance exam was my biggest hurdle. When I began taking the practice tests I was scoring in the '4' percentile for the math sections (3 being lowest and 7 highest)- and the required passing percentile was a 5. My results told me that I passed the math sections in the high 6's. I damn near harassed everyone I knew to help me with the various math problems that I just couldn't grasp - and come test day I walked into the classroom with much more confidence than I'd had only a few weeks earlier... And, it paid off. I'm so proud of myself for not only following through with the exam, but ROCKING THAT SHIT!
I have a bunch of new posts to finish and will be releasing them shortly. Lots happening this weekend:
1. I would have been going to a wedding with Daniel and his family out in PA. Knowing where he is/what he's doing fucks with my head and I wish it didn't. I wonder whether or not he'll think of me, even once, during the ceremony or any of the romanticized portions of the evening... Probably not.
2. It's FLEET WEEK! God, I love a man in uniform - especially uniforms with white pants in which you can see just every lovely curve of that male body. F-i-l-t-e-r-i-n-g N-o-w!
Til later!
Showing posts with label friends. Show all posts
Showing posts with label friends. Show all posts
Friday, May 28, 2010
Wednesday, May 12, 2010
Fuck you, Daniel ---- and a little more, too!
I’ve been having a bit of a ‘block’ with respect to writing this week. I don’t know why – my thoughts run rampant on a daily basis and I’ve got so much shit trickling through my mind that I can’t even keep track of it. Sometimes I envision the scene in Hackers when the mainframe is attacked and they’re showing all the rambling lines of code – and every now and then a number or a letter becomes illuminated. I suppose the same could be true of the DiVinci Code movie. It’s a constant borage of thoughts floating through the cerebral fluid that is Kitty G.
I’ve had a lot of shit plaguing me this week – There’s the thoughts of Daniel and his would be Match.com meetups that are consistently making me sick. I know I need to not worry about this but it’s really a lot easier said than done. I think one of the major things that is fucking with me is that in his new profile, the section that asks whether or not you want kids is answered with a “definitely”.
Really, Daniel? ‘Definitely’ - ?
Cause, like, a month before our breakup you came to me on some “I never fully committed to having children, Kitty” and these remarks are what sparked one of the angriest arguments we’ve ever had. Now, all of a sudden, you’re ‘definitely’ into the idea of having children? Fuck you! – I told you from the very beginning that I wanted kids more than almost anything. My friends are having children left and right – and above all that, it’s not like I have an abundance of time left in which I can dick around. My biological clock IS ticking like Marisa Tomei’s and I’m not going to pass up the opportunity to perform one of life’s greatest miracles. Shit, even as I type this one of my friends is in the Labor & Delivery ward of a hospital in Staten Island preparing to give birth to her first child. FUCK! What the fuck, Daniel!?
The interesting thing about his “definitely” answer is that in the “describe your perfect match” section, under the ‘wants kids’, he notates that he’d be OK dating women who either “definitely, or someday, or maybe’ want children. – Do you even know what the fuck you want, Daniel? How can you absolutely want children - yet you’ll consider dating someone who may, or may not, mirror your desires? Get your ass to therapy and stop fucking with people’s emotions you heartless fuck.
I think I am slowly entering my anger phase. I wish it would be quicker and that the anger would be fiercer – but, I have to remind myself that I’ve made great strides in allowing myself to feel and that acknowledging my pain is A-OK. That said, I acknowledge that this all still hurts a hell of a lot. And I acknowledge that if I see Daniel with one of his fucking match.com dates in the Bay Ridge area, I will have to hold back on a preposterous scale in order not to spit in both of their entitled faces.
Phew -- Breathe, Kitty. BREATHE!
So – second to all that stuff, I am sort of bugging out on the whole school tip. I took the entrance exam last week and am waiting on the results. 10-14 business days is the expected wait time. It’s like a fucking gestation period… What will be birthed out of the result? I don’t know. I went ahead and did a bunch of additional research on the radiological field and job availability. Turns out that via the opening of tons of programs which suddenly offer this training, the market is completely over-flooded with candidates looking for jobs – and, well, we all know the current state of the economy. There are hardly any jobs, anywhere – even in the land of opportunity that is NYC. With this in mind, I am starting to doubt my next moves. I realize this could be my fear manifesting itself like I said it would – and I’m keeping a watchful eye on all of that. It cannot be denied, however, that facts are facts and if there are 1000 folks looking for work and only 100 jobs, my fears are very real and should be considered on a grand scale. I am looking at managing loan payments for a better portion of the rest of my working career. Do I go ahead and complete this program only to come out – unable to find work – and responsible to pay these notes? It’s a valid concern.
As a back up option to the Radiological program, I have revisited the idea of Nursing. I originally planned to try to get into a nursing program back when Daniel and I were living together. His mother is a hospital bigwig down in Florida and when Daniel and I were planning what I thought was the rest of our lives, Nursing seemed a very smart career choice for a number of reasons. Just because he is no longer a part of the future plan doesn’t mean that I should forget that there is a lot of success and, more importantly, merit in the nursing industry. I’m a caring person – and my bedside manner is amazing (just ask the trannys :P) – so, I’m sure this would be a smart career choice. The fact that all of my thoughts are centered around medicine in some respect is a bit calming. At least I know I’m not barking up the wrong tree completely.
In order to move forward and get into one of the two full time nursing programs offered in the evenings in NYC, I need to complete various pre-requisite courses on the Liberal Arts and Basic Sciences. I did the preliminary research and it looks like there are around 6 classes I’ll need to complete by June 2011. I think it’s certainly possible and I’m looking forward to this as a serious back-up consideration if the Radiological stuff doesn’t seem like the best way to go.
So, yeah – this is just a random spewing of the thoughts that are going through my mind today. I wanted to throw something out there in terms of a posting and I just didn’t know where to go with it. Sorry if it’s a bit of a ramble. I know I tend to do that on occasion. It’s the Brooklyn in me!
Speaking of Brooklyn – Tour De Brooklyn is June 6th – it’s 18 miles and it starts in Williamsburg and ends in Williamsburg with a stop off at Redhook Park. God, I never thought I’d be considering doing a bike tour that takes me to RedHook. Brooklyn sure has changed, huh? I know a bunch of you readers are Brooklynites. I see your locations on my stat-finder software ;) (big brother is always watching, motherfuckers!!) – so I am just throwing this little tidbit out there as an FYI.
I’ve had a lot of shit plaguing me this week – There’s the thoughts of Daniel and his would be Match.com meetups that are consistently making me sick. I know I need to not worry about this but it’s really a lot easier said than done. I think one of the major things that is fucking with me is that in his new profile, the section that asks whether or not you want kids is answered with a “definitely”.
Really, Daniel? ‘Definitely’ - ?
Cause, like, a month before our breakup you came to me on some “I never fully committed to having children, Kitty” and these remarks are what sparked one of the angriest arguments we’ve ever had. Now, all of a sudden, you’re ‘definitely’ into the idea of having children? Fuck you! – I told you from the very beginning that I wanted kids more than almost anything. My friends are having children left and right – and above all that, it’s not like I have an abundance of time left in which I can dick around. My biological clock IS ticking like Marisa Tomei’s and I’m not going to pass up the opportunity to perform one of life’s greatest miracles. Shit, even as I type this one of my friends is in the Labor & Delivery ward of a hospital in Staten Island preparing to give birth to her first child. FUCK! What the fuck, Daniel!?
The interesting thing about his “definitely” answer is that in the “describe your perfect match” section, under the ‘wants kids’, he notates that he’d be OK dating women who either “definitely, or someday, or maybe’ want children. – Do you even know what the fuck you want, Daniel? How can you absolutely want children - yet you’ll consider dating someone who may, or may not, mirror your desires? Get your ass to therapy and stop fucking with people’s emotions you heartless fuck.
I think I am slowly entering my anger phase. I wish it would be quicker and that the anger would be fiercer – but, I have to remind myself that I’ve made great strides in allowing myself to feel and that acknowledging my pain is A-OK. That said, I acknowledge that this all still hurts a hell of a lot. And I acknowledge that if I see Daniel with one of his fucking match.com dates in the Bay Ridge area, I will have to hold back on a preposterous scale in order not to spit in both of their entitled faces.
Phew -- Breathe, Kitty. BREATHE!
So – second to all that stuff, I am sort of bugging out on the whole school tip. I took the entrance exam last week and am waiting on the results. 10-14 business days is the expected wait time. It’s like a fucking gestation period… What will be birthed out of the result? I don’t know. I went ahead and did a bunch of additional research on the radiological field and job availability. Turns out that via the opening of tons of programs which suddenly offer this training, the market is completely over-flooded with candidates looking for jobs – and, well, we all know the current state of the economy. There are hardly any jobs, anywhere – even in the land of opportunity that is NYC. With this in mind, I am starting to doubt my next moves. I realize this could be my fear manifesting itself like I said it would – and I’m keeping a watchful eye on all of that. It cannot be denied, however, that facts are facts and if there are 1000 folks looking for work and only 100 jobs, my fears are very real and should be considered on a grand scale. I am looking at managing loan payments for a better portion of the rest of my working career. Do I go ahead and complete this program only to come out – unable to find work – and responsible to pay these notes? It’s a valid concern.
As a back up option to the Radiological program, I have revisited the idea of Nursing. I originally planned to try to get into a nursing program back when Daniel and I were living together. His mother is a hospital bigwig down in Florida and when Daniel and I were planning what I thought was the rest of our lives, Nursing seemed a very smart career choice for a number of reasons. Just because he is no longer a part of the future plan doesn’t mean that I should forget that there is a lot of success and, more importantly, merit in the nursing industry. I’m a caring person – and my bedside manner is amazing (just ask the trannys :P) – so, I’m sure this would be a smart career choice. The fact that all of my thoughts are centered around medicine in some respect is a bit calming. At least I know I’m not barking up the wrong tree completely.
In order to move forward and get into one of the two full time nursing programs offered in the evenings in NYC, I need to complete various pre-requisite courses on the Liberal Arts and Basic Sciences. I did the preliminary research and it looks like there are around 6 classes I’ll need to complete by June 2011. I think it’s certainly possible and I’m looking forward to this as a serious back-up consideration if the Radiological stuff doesn’t seem like the best way to go.
So, yeah – this is just a random spewing of the thoughts that are going through my mind today. I wanted to throw something out there in terms of a posting and I just didn’t know where to go with it. Sorry if it’s a bit of a ramble. I know I tend to do that on occasion. It’s the Brooklyn in me!
Speaking of Brooklyn – Tour De Brooklyn is June 6th – it’s 18 miles and it starts in Williamsburg and ends in Williamsburg with a stop off at Redhook Park. God, I never thought I’d be considering doing a bike tour that takes me to RedHook. Brooklyn sure has changed, huh? I know a bunch of you readers are Brooklynites. I see your locations on my stat-finder software ;) (big brother is always watching, motherfuckers!!) – so I am just throwing this little tidbit out there as an FYI.
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
So I conducted a social expirement
As a half of a social experiment half honest excitement about a very
interesting essay I read today, I posted a link on Facebook for my
friends to get their read on – The essay in question can be viewed
here for those of you who are interested… It’s pretty long, consider
that a warning.
The crib notes are basically this – Einstein’s posing the statement
that the most important question a person can ask in their lifetime is
whether or not the universe is friendly. The author of the essay took
this question and placed it into a thought provoking lengthy piece of
work in which he doesn’t attempt to answer the question of whether the
universe is happy or not – but instead, he gives examples of how a
persons thought patterns and the likes may or may not attract
different things in their lives. It’s a bit more complex than that and
it contains various thoughts on quantum mechanics, universal
coincidences (or lack thereof) and the basic laws of attraction. It borderlines on the basic foundations of “The Secret” –
So, I post this link – and I ask for thoughtful and intelligent conversation and opinions to be provided via feedback. (It’s times like this that I really miss Daniel) – Amongst the first bit of feedback that come in is the general statement that the question of whether or not the universe is friendly is in of itself a “retarded question” – Great, thanks for that opinion there buddy. Very thoughtful response. Next up is a Facebook friend who must’ve thought I was asking for the essay to be explained to me because she went into how the entire thing was really just all about the glass ½ empty vs the glass ½ full. Once again, thanks for that very thought out and explicit comment. In short, by around 25 minutes after posting the essay I was enraged that not one of my 496 facebook friends had a thoughtful enough comment to solicit an intelligent conversation on a topic which I find to be something that can be discussed to no end.
I need new friends
A strong percentage of my strong desire to breakup with Brooklyn lies in the fact that the people with whom I associate here are by and large very unexposed. It’s not the under-exposure that bothers me about them – I understand not being taught about the world and coming up in an area that was somewhat segregated. What I don’t understand is how in 2010 with the internet, media, and various other sources of information, these same folks are not dying to get out into the world and learn something new. This – in of itself – is a driving force behind my needing a serious change of scenery.
I know what many of you might be thinking and that is that my experiences with in Brooklyn are not representative of the entire Borough – and you’re right. Unfortunately, rent in an area with a bit of a more cultured existence is outrageously high and I am simply not in a position to take that step financially. So, what CAN I do?
A few friends have suggested meetup.com – Do any of you have any experience with it? I’m generally familiar with the concept behind the site and I think it’s a cool enough idea. I’m not sure what types of meetups I’d be into – but the idea of seeking out a more cultured audience in terms of social companionship is seriously appealing to me right now.
Social companionship – did I just say that? What the fuck is social companionship, anyway? You’re talking to a girl who would easily date a different dude every night and stay more than busy doing so. What is this concept I am about to embrace? Not using what I’ve got on my side in terms of being an attractive outgoing female – to get men to hang out with me by dangling the carrot that is my vagina in their face? What? –
When did this happen?
I was speaking to my therapist about that tonight, actually, and I announced to him, proudly, that I have not yet jumped into the sack with a suitor as a means to ease the pain of splitting with Daniel. I am, however, starting to have some natural desires again – and that means I’m about to enter some rough terrain with respect to riding the road that is this healing process I need to go through. It’s very easy to medicate yourself via drug or dick – what is not easy is resisting the temptation to fill a general void you’re having as a human being. I feel that void entering the picture on a grand scale and while I am dedicated to not making the same mistakes I’ve made in my past with respect to casual sex, I can’t say I’m not really starting to feel really lonely.
interesting essay I read today, I posted a link on Facebook for my
friends to get their read on – The essay in question can be viewed
here for those of you who are interested… It’s pretty long, consider
that a warning.
The crib notes are basically this – Einstein’s posing the statement
that the most important question a person can ask in their lifetime is
whether or not the universe is friendly. The author of the essay took
this question and placed it into a thought provoking lengthy piece of
work in which he doesn’t attempt to answer the question of whether the
universe is happy or not – but instead, he gives examples of how a
persons thought patterns and the likes may or may not attract
different things in their lives. It’s a bit more complex than that and
it contains various thoughts on quantum mechanics, universal
coincidences (or lack thereof) and the basic laws of attraction. It borderlines on the basic foundations of “The Secret” –
So, I post this link – and I ask for thoughtful and intelligent conversation and opinions to be provided via feedback. (It’s times like this that I really miss Daniel) – Amongst the first bit of feedback that come in is the general statement that the question of whether or not the universe is friendly is in of itself a “retarded question” – Great, thanks for that opinion there buddy. Very thoughtful response. Next up is a Facebook friend who must’ve thought I was asking for the essay to be explained to me because she went into how the entire thing was really just all about the glass ½ empty vs the glass ½ full. Once again, thanks for that very thought out and explicit comment. In short, by around 25 minutes after posting the essay I was enraged that not one of my 496 facebook friends had a thoughtful enough comment to solicit an intelligent conversation on a topic which I find to be something that can be discussed to no end.
I need new friends
A strong percentage of my strong desire to breakup with Brooklyn lies in the fact that the people with whom I associate here are by and large very unexposed. It’s not the under-exposure that bothers me about them – I understand not being taught about the world and coming up in an area that was somewhat segregated. What I don’t understand is how in 2010 with the internet, media, and various other sources of information, these same folks are not dying to get out into the world and learn something new. This – in of itself – is a driving force behind my needing a serious change of scenery.
I know what many of you might be thinking and that is that my experiences with in Brooklyn are not representative of the entire Borough – and you’re right. Unfortunately, rent in an area with a bit of a more cultured existence is outrageously high and I am simply not in a position to take that step financially. So, what CAN I do?
A few friends have suggested meetup.com – Do any of you have any experience with it? I’m generally familiar with the concept behind the site and I think it’s a cool enough idea. I’m not sure what types of meetups I’d be into – but the idea of seeking out a more cultured audience in terms of social companionship is seriously appealing to me right now.
Social companionship – did I just say that? What the fuck is social companionship, anyway? You’re talking to a girl who would easily date a different dude every night and stay more than busy doing so. What is this concept I am about to embrace? Not using what I’ve got on my side in terms of being an attractive outgoing female – to get men to hang out with me by dangling the carrot that is my vagina in their face? What? –
When did this happen?
I was speaking to my therapist about that tonight, actually, and I announced to him, proudly, that I have not yet jumped into the sack with a suitor as a means to ease the pain of splitting with Daniel. I am, however, starting to have some natural desires again – and that means I’m about to enter some rough terrain with respect to riding the road that is this healing process I need to go through. It’s very easy to medicate yourself via drug or dick – what is not easy is resisting the temptation to fill a general void you’re having as a human being. I feel that void entering the picture on a grand scale and while I am dedicated to not making the same mistakes I’ve made in my past with respect to casual sex, I can’t say I’m not really starting to feel really lonely.
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